During 22 years as a public high school administrator in the western suburbs — including more than a decade as a principal at two high schools — Ralph Heatherington excelled at steering at-risk youths toward making better choices.
Heatherington, who capped his career with a nine-year run as the principal of Wheaton North High School in Wheaton, also had a major hand in mending frayed relations between Wheaton’s two high schools, according to colleagues.
“He had an ability to deal humanely with every kid who entered that building,” said retired Wheaton Warrenville South High School principal Charles Baker, a former colleague and longtime friend. “If a kid was a troubled kid, if a kid came from the wrong part of town, if the kid had police trouble or if he had some kind of issue, Ralph could still deal with it. And Ralph had what I would call an instinctive volume control — to communicate to a kid in the way that was needed.”
Heatherington, 79, died Nov. 28 at the Alto assisted living and memory care facility in Wheaton, said his daughter Kelley. A Wheaton resident for 42 years and a Carol Stream resident before that, Heatherington had been dealing with Lewy body dementia and Parkinson’s disease, his daughter said.
Born in Fairmont, West Virginia, in 1946, Heatherington grew up in Pennsylvania and Chicago’s north suburbs. He graduated from Maine East High School in Park Ridge in 1964 and then attended Western Illinois University, where he got a bachelor’s degree in 1971. Heatherington also served in the Army during the Vietnam War, spending the majority of 1968 in Vietnam and seeing combat, his daughter said.
Heatherington earned a Purple Heart, three Bronze Stars and two Silver Stars for his military service in Vietnam, his family said. As a vet, Heatherington went on a military Honor Flight to Washington, D.C., in 2021.
While in Vietnam, Heatherington was inspired to become a public school teacher. After finishing college in 1971 and getting a master’s degree in education from Western Illinois University in 1972, Heatherington began teaching business classes at Wheaton Central High School in 1972.
He moved into school administration in 1982, when he became an assistant principal at Wheaton Central, where he also served as dean of students. Heatherington coached many sports while at Wheaton Central, including football, boys golf and baseball; he also was a cheerleading sponsor. Along with a colleague, the late Rich Jarom, Heatherington also coached girls high school basketball, taking Wheaton Central’s team to the state tournament in 1985.
“Ralph was so unique in how he opened his heart to anybody who had any troubles,” said former University of Miami women’s head basketball coach Katie Meier, a 1985 Wheaton Central graduate who played basketball for Heatherington and Jarom. “It was the moments I’d see him off to the side, counseling someone who’d gotten in trouble, and I remember thinking if I’m ever some type of leader, I hope I have that quality — to not bail on people if they make a mistake but to tell them that what they did reflects poorly on their decisions but not on them, and they could recover from this.”
Throughout her 19 years of coaching Miami women’s basketball, Meier said she set up her Florida office so that players seated across from her saw the word “dream” on the wall behind her, while Meier would see the words “inspire” and “encourage” on the wall behind her players.
“I always set up my office that way because I would always hear Ralph’s voice saying, ‘Do they know you care about them?’” Meier said.
Kim Kern, a fourth grade teacher at Whittier Elementary School in Wheaton, recalled Heatherington as her freshman typing teacher and later as her basketball coach at Wheaton Central. After she began teaching, Kern worked adjacent to Heatherington as Wheaton Central’s freshman girls basketball coach for five years.
“Our motto in (Wheaton Warrenville) Community Unit District 200 is connectedness and connecting with the kids, and he connected with kids way before that was ever a thing,” Kern said. “He just always made sure he knew the kids. It didn’t matter what walk of life you were from. He’d offer a handshake and a smile, and he supported you and backed you. For me, he was a teacher, a mentor, a coach and a friend.”
Heatherington remained assistant principal at Wheaton Central and at its successor high school, Wheaton Warrenville South, until 1993, when became principal at Kaneland High School in Elburn. He returned to Wheaton’s school system in 1995 to become principal of Wheaton North High School.
“The thing I remember about him is, a lot of administrators preach about being in the hallway and you never see them. He was never behind his desk — he was always in the hallway,” said retired Wheaton North physical education teacher and football coach Jim Rexilius Jr. “The kids loved him and they respected him. He never missed an event of any kind. He was a guy who loved his country, loved his family and loved his school.”
While leading Wheaton North, Heatherington oversaw the start of a major building expansion, funded by a $72 million referendum question that voters had approved in 2003.
He also worked to bury bad blood that long had plagued Wheaton’s two high schools, Baker said. For example, Heatherington would meet with all of the school teams ahead of their season to talk about sportsmanship, integrity and decency.
“I think Ralph had his greatest sense of pride in his ability to end the animosity between the north and south sides of town. When he took that principal job, one of the specific goals he talked to me about was, ‘We need to end all that nonsense,’ because it had been so bad in our earlier years,” Baker said. “Students had burned down a press box, burned football fields, tore down goal posts; and every time football games were played, we had security and staff standing guard. The real tribute is that most people today don’t know about that animosity. It’s simply ‘the other high school.’ We play each other and it’s competitive, but that anger and vitriol is gone, and Ralph deserves a ton of credit for getting that done.”
Heatherington’s daughter said one of her father’s great joys as an administrator was graduation day.
“He enjoyed seeing how far students had come throughout their high school careers,” she said.
After retiring from Wheaton North in 2004, Heatherington chaired a referendum committee that aimed to marshal support to fund the construction of a new Hubble Middle School. Voters approved the referendum in 2008 and the new school opened in 2009 on Herrick Road in Warrenville. Heatherington also served briefly as a co-principal at Lincoln Middle School in Park Ridge in 2009.
During retirement, Heatherington continued his side job with the front office staff at Old Wayne Golf Club in West Chicago, where he worked for 44 years. He enjoyed attending his grandchildren’s sporting events and teaching each one how to golf, his daughter said.
Heatherington is survived by his wife of more than 57 years, Judy; two daughters, Amy McMillen and Kelley; a son-in-law, Al McMillen; three granddaughters; a grandson; and two sisters, Julie Busse and Diane Budelier.
A visitation will be held from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Dec. 27 at Williams-Kampp Funeral Home, 430 E. Roosevelt Road, Wheaton.
Bob Goldsborough is a freelance reporter.
