Melissa Farmer-Hill navigated plenty of challenges when she was serving in the military, but facing life as a civilian after a 20-year stint in the Army was one of her toughest.
A chief warrant officer in the field of human resources, she’d served in Korea, Germany, Korea and Iraq, but it was at home in the south suburbs that the trauma hit.
“I lost my tribe … I’d been gone for 20 years, so I lost the people I was connected to,” said Farmer-Hill, who grew up in Chicago but now lives in Richton Park. “I lost my sense of duty and responsibility. I started to just withdraw from the world and kind of isolate myself without knowing that.”
Beyond the rigors of military life, she said, she’d also experienced sexual trauma, like so many other female veterans.
After getting therapy and being on medication for a while, she reached out to various military organizations and realized she wasn’t alone. Many other female veterans faced similar emotional difficulties once they returned home.
Sharing those stories became part of the healing.
So Farmer-Hill started a coffee club that would help female veterans give voice to what they had been through and help their comrades recover and gain emotional strength.
The SHERO Coffee Club in Richton Park doesn’t have a brick and mortar site, rather it’s an internet company that gives opportunities to a network of fellow veterans who Farmer-Hill calls “ambassadors.” SHERO stands for women who are self-aware, honest, empowering, resilient and owners of every aspect of their lives.
Customers buy a bag of coffee on the SHERO website (https://www.sherocoffee.com/) and are connected to an ambassador, who shares her story or experience. The company also does “coffee chat” site visits where Farmer-Hill handles vending and coffee services while an ambassador talks to veterans and others. The coffee is roasted in Illinois, and is either a medium blend from Nicaragua, Guatemala and Columbia or dark from Kenya and Sumatra.
Farmer-Hill started her business in 2022 but it was a year later when she immersed herself in its purpose.
“Especially now, given what’s happening to DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) and women’s history, I thank goodness it’s a blessing I have SHERO Coffee Club,” she said. “I’m able to do more to promote the legacies of women who serve.”
Ambassadors meet regularly in online gatherings focusing on self-care, goal achievement, self-expression and connection. They’ve been working on donations for an education scholarship fund at Benjamin O. Davis VFW Post 311 in Richton Park and are getting ready for their annual SHERO Uncorked event Aug. 31, celebrating women who served.
“Starting SHERO has given me purpose, it’s given me a voice, it’s given me the support to look other women in the eye and tell them it’s okay,” said Farmer-Hill. “It’s given me hope that if I can change one life, it will be well worth it.”
Joining SHERO helped Nekohl Johnson, who was a lab technician in the Army for eight years, serving during Operation Desert Storm.
“It was difficult … the big fear was when I was going to live or die,” Johnson said. “But the (real) difficulties came afterwards when I realized what I had gone through.”
She was dealing with the memory of bombs, missiles and seeing people injured, there was the sexual trauma.
“The men were all over you,” she said. “There was a lot of bad stuff going on while we were at war.”
Once home, Johnson initially tried to avoid the memories. But then she began having anxiety attacks, losing her sense of time, having nightmares and experiencing major depression. She had also experienced trauma as a child.
Her work with The Telling Project, a performing arts nonprofit, which includes a focus on veterans, helped her recover. There she was interviewed about her experiences in the military, which were “scripted out” for a stage play at the Piven Theatre in Evanston.
“That’s where I realized I needed help,” she said.
She also found she felt safe in the theatre space. Then she wrote a book, called “A Queen was Born Again,” about experiences. Even just rereading what she wrote “tore me up.” Therapy also helped her, she said.
She created an organization called “Be Whole with Nekohl,” which offers classes, groups and seminars to veteran communities.
Johnson met Farmer-Hill through a coffee chat and spoke at one of SHERO’s programs.
“I love coffee, and it was designed to help veterans be celebrated, which aligns with my goals,” said Johnson. “Once I found out about it, I was going to support it or take ownership because I support wholeheartedly what the brand involves.”
It helped her stay connected to other female veterans. She was also motivated by Farmer-Hill.
“First of all, she’s resilient, she’s very organized, she’s fierce, strong-willed, supportive and overall, just a great person,” Johnson said.
Then there’s the importance of what SHERO stands for beyond just coffee.
“I want people to focus on the fact that purchasing the coffee is more than getting a good bag of coffee,” said Johnson. “You’re actually helping female veterans.”
Janice Neumann is a freelance reporter for the Daily Southtown.
