March brings us the opening of the baseball season and the start of the NCAA Tournament, two of the best times of year for sports fans.
It also shuts the door on February, which gave us the most boring Super Bowl in recent memory, a winless month for the Chicago Bulls and a great moment for U.S. hockey that was marred by two clueless men trying to steal the spotlight from men’s team while belittling the accomplishment of the women’s team.
A few takeaways on the wacky world of sports and politics.
Knight stands tall
The U.S. men’s hockey team’s gold-medal win in Milan was such a feel-good story that even the usual suspects couldn’t ruin it.
But oh, how they tried.
FBI director Kash Patel made a complete fool of himself by inserting himself into the winning locker room to celebrate like he was part of the team, acting like a 6-year-old on a sugar high. Then came President Donald Trump’s embarrassing phone call, during which he joked to the men he’d also have to invite the gold-medal winning U.S. women’s team to the White House or else get impeached.
Trump is the Carrot Top of presidents, funny to only a small subset of Americans who qualify for memberships in DENSA, the opposite of MENSA.
U.S. women’s star Hilary Knight called the joke “distasteful and unfortunate.” She could’ve added “moronic and predictable” but was probably being polite.
“Now I have to sit in front of you and explain someone’s behavior, (and) it’s not my responsibility,” she said. “What is, is shifting the focus, shifting the narrative of this amazing accomplishment that we all did together. Granted, the men’s and the women’s team did it together and that is super special. It’s never been done in our program’s history and it’s something we’re really proud about. These women are amazing, and whatever is going on should never outshine or minimize their work and our success on the world stage.”
Bravo to Knight. Fortunately, several players from the U.S. men’s team, including Boston Bruins defenseman Charlie McAvoy, apologized for laughing at Trump’s lame joke.
“You know things just happened really quick there,” McAvoy said.
The men went on to their White House celebration, as is tradition for championship sports teams. The women’s team could not accept the belated invitation to the White House because they went back to their college or PWHL teams after the Olympics.
Hopefully they decline to go in the future. Being stage props for a president who never fails to disrespect women is no way to celebrate a gold medal.
Will Bulls history repeat itself?
The Bulls will be trying to avoid their 12th consecutive loss Sunday afternoon at the United Center, facing the Milwaukee Bucks. They just went the entire month of February without a win, which means the players that came over at the trade deadline have yet to experience a victory in a Bulls uniform.
Congrats are in order to executive vice president of basketball operations Artūras Karnišovas on a stealthy tank job that won’t lead to any NBA fines, all for incrementally better odds at a higher draft pick.
If this losing streak continues, the Bulls could snap the franchise record of 16 straight losses, set in the 2000-01 season when Tim Floyd was coach and Elton Brand and Ron Artest were the main stars. After their 16th straight loss, Floyd, the former Iowa State coach who replaced Phil Jackson, pointed out that in college they could always schedule a cupcake to avoid such a scenario, using Nicholls State as an example.
Floyd then joked “the Bulls are the Nicholls State of the NBA,” which was probably an overstatement since they were 6-42 at the time.
The 2001 trade deadline was approaching, but Bulls general manager Jerry Krause told the Tribune’s K.C. Johnson it was no time to panic.
“If you panic and do something stupid in this game, you can tie yourself up and not be able to recover. … We won’t do that,” he said.
The Bulls finally ended their historic losing streak the next night with a 96-92 win over the Atlanta Hawks at the United Center. “We’re not ready to reserve Grant Park,” Floyd said. “But it feels good.”
The Bulls marketing department decided it would be a good idea to shoot streamers after the win like they’d won the NBA title. Floyd was not amused. The following summer the Bulls had the No. 4 pick in the draft and used it on Thornwood High School star Eddy Curry, who lasted awhile but never became a star.
Well, at least Krause didn’t panic.
What will AK do? Stay tuned.
Tale of two ballparks
The Cubs and White Sox play again Sunday at Sloan Park in Mesa, Ariz., in a game televised on the Marquee Sports Network.
If you’ve missed watching Cactus League games on TV, you’re not alone. The Cubs drastically reduced their spring TV schedule to 11 games for financial reasons, and the Sox have seldom shown many spring games for the same reason. Televised Cactus League games are basically an infomercial for teams. They don’t get big ratings but satisfy the die-hards, especially on weekends when there’s not much else on sports-wise besides basketball and golf.
The start of the Cactus League is typically a slow time for attendance, even for the Cubs. But the Cubs have averaged 11,207 for their five home games, which bodes well for the rest of the spring. Once spring break arrives in early to mid-March, the Cubs figure to have sellouts or near-sellouts on most days.
The Sox, meanwhile, are averaging 3,056 per game at Camelback Ranch, a ballpark in Glendale that lacks enough shade to keep fans from getting burned to a crisp under the Arizona sun. Perhaps they should’ve stayed in Sarasota, Fla., where they spent 38 years before moving to Tucson in 1998, and then to Glendale. Most South Siders I know prefer vacationing in Florida to Arizona.
Ranking the months of the year
The worst month of the year to live in Chicago is February, despite days like Friday when the temperature reach 60 and everyone leaves their house. And other than the Super Bowl and the Winter Olympics every four years, it’s also a lousy month for sports viewing.
The sports calendar has changed a lot over the years, with the baseball season now beginning in late March and often ending in November, the PGA Championship moving from mid-August to the weekend before Memorial Day and the Super Bowl taking place in mid-February. Next year it’s on Valentine’s Day, the latest date ever.
Everyone has their own favorite months, depending on their preferred sports, where they live and, of course, the weather. Here are my rankings of the 12 months, along with the primary reason for the ranking:
- October (World Series)
- March (Madness)
- July (hot enough to take a dip)
- September (college football)
- June (NBA Finals/Stanley Cup Final)
- August (still outdoors)
- December (4:30 sunsets)
- May (waiting on June)
- November (baseball ends)
- April (cold rain)
- January (polar vortex)
- February (blahs)
Final answer
While being deluged with campaign commercials before the March 17 primary, one thing sticks out: If all these local politicians stood up to ICE like their TV ads suggest, how did it get away with causing so much havoc?
I’ll hang up and listen to your answer.
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