DEAR READERS: I recently spoke with someone who was irritated when a supervisor who had no authority to comment on his performance told him she had noticed him while observing one of her charges. She said she couldn’t see what he was accomplishing, then asked him to explain in detail what his responsibilities are. He didn’t feel he owed her an explanation but diplomatically explained what the job entailed. If this happens again, what should he or someone in that situation do?
“When someone who’s not your supervisor comments on your work, it can be challenging to know how to react. On the one hand, you may want to put on a brave face and pretend everything is okay. On the other hand, you might feel intimidated or offended by the comment and want to respond negatively,” says LaToya Anderson, an HR manager who is also the CEO and lead writer at CheddarDen, a blog dedicated to careers and side hustles.
As hard as it might be, Anderson (who says she has “seen and lived through several uncomfortable situations between coworkers and managers”) stresses the importance of maintaining a professional attitude when someone who is not your supervisor comments on your work. “This includes staying calm and polite, not getting defensive or arguing with the individual, and simply thanking them for their feedback,” she says.
Leadership and career coach Phoebe Gavin, founder of Better with Phoebe, suggests using the situation to your advantage.
“It’s frustrating to have colleagues or cross-functional leaders question your work, but try to see it as an opportunity to build workplace relationships, demonstrate your value, and advocate for your function,” Gavin says. “Take the opportunity to explain your work, but focus on how it helps your organization achieve its goals. Describing your work in a results-oriented way highlights your value and helps the questioner see how you fit in the big picture.”
Another suggestion: Show curiosity about the questioner’s work too. “People generally like talking about themselves and what they do, so hearing ‘I’d love to hear a little about what you do’ ends the conversation on a positive note,” Gavin adds.
While the diplomatic approach the employee in question took was the correct one under the circumstances, notifying the direct supervisor about the conversation also is important — especially if the situation happens again.
“Your boss might have more context on the questioner’s potential motivations, or your team may need to do a bit more work to be visible to other parts of your organization,” Gavin explains.
Anderson says trying to understand why the situation occurred is one way any employee in that situation can maintain a professional demeanor while also protecting his or her rights.
“Were they trying to be helpful? Did they not understand what you were doing? Are they just curious? If you can determine why the individual commented, you will be in a better position to respond effectively,” Anderson explains. “For example, if they didn’t know what you were working on or how it related to their area of responsibility, then explaining it briefly may clarify it for everyone. If they still have questions or concerns after hearing about your project, feel free to speak with your supervisor for further guidance or support.”
(Kathleen Furore is a Chicago-based writer and editor who has covered personal finance and other business-related topics for a variety of trade and consumer publications. You can email her your career questions at kfurore@yahoo.com.)
