Grief doesn’t end or stop. But there’s a comfort in that

Grief is the biggest all-consuming thing going on right now, and not just in my life but in the zoomed-out version of the world. It’s a really heavy atmosphere right now. And I thought, how can I delve into grief and tell a story that is close to me but also has elements of fantasy, has elements of playfulness and beauty as well?

This story starts right after a funeral. It’s an auntie and a niece in the images, and the niece is on her own after the funeral. It’s the first moments in which she’s not surrounded by people, and she can reflect on what’s going on and how she’s going to move forward without her auntie. The auntie visits her in a form — it’s scary at first because the niece is thinking, “I know she’s not really here, but she’s here.”

In the second part of the story, they’re coming toward each other, crying. Both of them are crying because the auntie’s going on her journey, but the niece also is moving forward without her auntie. It’s not saying goodbye, necessarily, because they’re not really going to ever part, but they aren’t going to be together in a physical way anymore. So, there is that sadness, that overwhelming feeling of loss.

Noelle wears vintage plastic knit dress, Agent Provocateur lingerie, custom-made jewelry by Chloé Maratta.

Rosie wears Versace dress, Saint Laurent heels.

Then, the ending of the story is really sweet — it’s a relief to have somebody have your back on the other side. The auntie’s going to always be there for her niece as an ancestor. It comes kind of in a circle, it doesn’t end. The grief has a purpose.

I just lost an auntie recently. I deal with a lot of grief about losing my mom too, even though that was a long time ago. And my grandma was huge — she had a big part in raising me, and I lost her too. The more people you lose, you start thinking about all of them. You start thinking, “What are they all doing up there?” It was really special to be able to create something that’s personal, but it’s also a fiction, it’s not totally real. There’s room to play.

Rosie wears Stacey Nishimoto top.

It’s not a glamorous thing to constantly tell people, “Oh, I’m sad.” Nobody wants to hear about that, and it’s also awkward. People don’t always know how to comfort each other. I think people have good intentions, but there’s not a lot of education on how we can support each other in times of grief. People always say, “Time heals everything.” But I don’t know if grief ever really goes. It can be transformed into something else, into different types of feelings or energies, but I don’t think it can ever just end or stop. So, for me, the ending of the story here, I love the idea that it’s not a goodbye. It’s like, “I’m going to see you when it’s my time. I’m going to see you later.” And there’s a comfort in that.

Rosie (left) wears vintage fur coat from the Corner Store, Lanvin blouse, Saint Laurent boots, custom veil by Chloé Maratta. Noelle wears vintage dress set, Pleaser heels.

I always think about this other place where these people are now, and I just think of sparkles. I think of glitter. I think of a place where there isn’t pain, where there isn’t the way of being here on the physical Earth. Glam was really important to be a part of this visual story. And the stylist Angelina [Vitto] went above and beyond because she understood that there’s a way of honoring the characters. When you doll them up, it’s like seeing them at their best in a beautiful way.

I thought the space, [the Highland Park Ebell Club], was perfect to tell the story. With me being from a film and art background, it was interesting to be in a theater and have that as the setting. Even just the idea of the curtains closing and not fully being closed, there’s this opening. And with the darkness, I wanted it to be separate from a reality that we’re familiar with. Spookiness is always fun. And it’s just this other world. When you’re overtaken by grief, it’s a dark time, and you might not have the clearest state of mind. That felt important to me to have a little bit of experimenting in terms of the quality of the image and maybe having some things blur and stuck in the shadows. You can’t really see everything, but that speaks to how we move when we’re grieving.

As told to Elisa Wouk Almino