‘Homosexuality didn’t exist’: Elliot Page’s family rejected his queer exploration

Elliot Page always struggled knowing he was different. His family pushed back when he attempted to own his queer identity, and he says his relationship with his dad is nonexistent.

As a child, Page asked his mother if he could be a boy, and secluded himself in his room — exploring his gender by playing with toys and writing letters, signing off as a boy.

He told The Times’ Amy Kaufman that this was the only time he felt he could settle into his own identity as the boy he deep down knew he was.

The Oscar-nominated actor grew up in Halifax, Canada, the grandchild of a minister, without any celebrated transgender examples, like the one he’s considered today. He grew up as part of a family who didn’t know how to be supportive when he struggled to understand his sexuality, he said. And his mother told him that “homosexuality didn’t exist.”

As a teen, he shaved his head for an acting role, which spurred his grandmother to ask Page’s father what he would do if his daughter were a “dyke.”

But eventually his mother came around, and Page has since forgiven her for failing to support him early on.

It was as though she experienced a sense of relief when Page came out as trans, he told Kaufman. She was able to see him finally at ease with himself.

“I think it’s really inspiring that she’s changed and become such an advocate and ally,” he continued. “It took her time to break out of the ideas she grew up with.”

Page didn’t get to experience that growth and forgiveness with his father, though. They’ve been estranged for more than five years, and things took an especially painful turn after his father liked a post from right-wing author Jordan Peterson — targeted at Page.

Page is acknowledging and interrogating the reality of his trauma more than ever through therapy and, recently, the writing of his memoir, “Pageboy,” available Tuesday — but he remains full of gratitude and self-reflection.

“I’m such a rare example of what it means to be trans,” Page told Kaufman. “I’m just in this strange position where it’s like, yeah, my journey has really not been easy. At moments, I thought: ‘I don’t know what my future is. I don’t know if I see it.’ But I also just have this amount of privilege that so many trans people do not get.”

To read more about the journey and survival of the “Juno” and “Umbrella Academy” star, read Kaufman’s full Elliott Page profile.