Now we know what it takes for Jimmy Kimmel to skip a night of work: One of his babies has to have a baby.
Kimmel became a grandfather earlier this week when his oldest daughter gave birth to a girl. In his monologue Tuesday, he joked about his oldest daughter’s age.
“We were supposed to have a show last night, but we didn’t because my daughter had a baby last night. People don’t realize — people know I have two little kids,” he said. “I also have two older kids. My oldest daughter, she’s 83 years old, her name is Katie.”
He also praised Guillermo as a great doula, telling his sidekick, “You were reassuring, you were calm, your hands were so soft.” So you can tell how serious he was being.
Kimmel said it was only the second night, excluding planned vacations and the COVID-19 lockdowns, that he’d taken off in the show’s 22-year history.
Katie and Kevin Kimmel, 33 and 31, are Jimmy’s kids from his 14-year marriage to Gina Kimmel, which ended in 2002.
Kimmel’s kids from his marriage to writer Molly McNearney, whom he married in 2013, are Jane, 10, and Billy, 8. Billy was born with a heart condition that has been discussed regularly on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Katie wed Will Logsdon in 2021.
As for Katie Kimmel’s new baby, proud grandpa Jimmy said she’s “very healthy.” Then he went on to joke about her name, which he stated was Melania, then Melania Thee Stallion, then — in a phone call with his Aunt Chippy — Jo Mama, then Jo Mama Kevin Logsdon.
It was after that last one that Aunt Chippy said, “She didn’t name the baby that! You know, if you don’t stop busting my b—, I swear to God when I die I’m going to come back and haunt you!”
Kimmel then said the name was actually Brangelina, prompting Chippy to order him to hand the phone to his mother.
The baby’s actual name, though, is Patti Joan. “Joan” is in honor of Jimmy Kimmel’s mom, Katie’s paternal grandma.
The talk-show host also started riffing on things he’d learned from his grandfathers and brainstorming things he would have to teach little Patti Joan. Things like shoplifting, skipping traffic by impersonating law enforcement and shooting out one’s bottom dentures like a cash-register drawer.
“You know WD-40?” Kimmel asked the studio audience. “You have to teach them about that.”
