Leave it to Leslie Jones and menopause to turn “The View” into a more entertaining program.
The “Saturday Night Live” veteran was halfway through a chat Tuesday with Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar and the rest of the “View” crew when she suddenly began to sweat — visibly. She coped by dabbing at her face with a small navy blue towel that magically appeared from under the table.
“You’re — you’re hot,” Behar stammered, breaking up a conversation in which she had opined that comics are truth-tellers who undermine propaganda.
“I’m always hot, babe,” Jones replied, continuing her blotting adventure before explaining — perhaps unnecessarily — “I’m having that menopause. That pause, that pause.”
The performer continued. “I am in it,” she said. “I am ‘pause.’ The heat that comes off of me can light a small city in Guadalajara.”
Forget that Guadalajara itself is a city, and not a small one. Jones’ deadpan demeanor at that moment prompted Sunny Hostin to begin fanning her with a large notecard. Behar joined in with her own card.
“Let’s talk about your latest comedy show because it is funny and it’s called ‘Leslie Jones: Life Part 2,’” Hostin said, attempting to get the segment back on track.
She did not completely succeed.
“I’m spritzing!” Jones said as she once again dabbed her moist face with the magical towel.
The show played a clip from her special where she talked about everyone needing to go to therapy, after which Hostin steered “The View” conversation toward dating.
Then Goldberg stole the spotlight, having left her seat to take over dabbing duties from their guest. “I could die now,” Jones said, holding her hands out, palms up, and looking to the heavens with a peaceful smile as she basked in Whoopi’s careful attention. “This is a little — this is a dream. This is a dream come true.”
At that point, Hostin seemed to give up on talking about guys with Jones and started once again fanning her with the notecard.
“Whoopi Goldberg wiping my sweat,” Jones declared, relaxing into the experience.
“Yes, it’s a beautiful moment,” Behar snarked.
Oh, but wait. Hostin was not to be denied. Or perhaps whatever producer was hollering into her earpiece wouldn’t be denied.
“You talk a lot about the men you’ve encountered … so tell us, how’s the pool out there?” she asked, not clocking that the audience was far more interested in Whoopi now fanning Jones by waving the magical towel. “Have you found any men,” Hostin wondered, “who would do that for you?” Fan you? Wipe your sweat?
“Unfortunately, no,” Jones replied. “Listen, I’m 58 now, so I’m past the BS.”
“You’re also post-menopausal at 58,” Dr. Behar interjected, revealing herself to be an armchair expert in female endocrinology. “It should be over by now.”
Jones turned from her reverie and looked at Behar as if the latter were a bag of dog poop burning on her doorstep. But she did not stomp on the bag to put it out. “It’s different for everyone,” Alyssa Farah Griffin chimed in cheerfully.
“Have we got a beef?” Jones asked Behar, looking at her with that stone-faced gaze only Leslie Jones can deliver.
“Not that I know of?” Behar said. “You know what, we respectfully disagree.”
Good to know that Behar thinks Jones isn’t capable of experiencing menopausal symptoms despite Jones experiencing menopausal symptoms right in front of her face.
Meanwhile, Whoopi stepped up the blotting, offering comforting words to Jones while Behar babbled on in her own defense.
“You comin’ at me,” Jones told Behar.
“Let me get your face,” Whoopi said.
“Thank you, baby,” Jones told her personal sweat-swabber.
And the conversation turned back to the dating scene, which Jones correctly told Hostin “is not bleak. It’s diabolical.” As she spoke, Whoopi folded the magical towel, laid it down in a magical resting place and backed away, blowing on Jones as she took slow steps toward her abandoned chair.
“Just blow yourself all over me, babe,” Jones said, and Whoopi stepped back and obliged. Behar, looking uncomfortable, asked someone to grab a hand towel.
“It’s so sad,” Jones said, “that my whole spot is going to be about me sweating.”
After a commercial break, Behar had in hand a small electric fan, which she promptly aimed at Jones. “This one will take care of all your issues.”
“Thank you, darling. I’m good,” Jones said. “Now I’m freezing.”
Nah girl. When it came to Joy Behar in that moment, you were just cold.
